Movie Therapy For The Grounded Traveler
If you are reading Hejorama there is chance that just like us, you are a travel junkie. Every opportunity is good to go abroad and discover a new culture. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to book a ticket on a whim and go see the world. Sometimes money is tight, or your boss won’t let you take a few days off or your dog is sick and you can’t leave. But travel envy is always here devouring you.
Well, we have the solution. We have compiled a list of situations and corresponding movies that you should watch to cut your travel desires and be happy to stay home.
Enjoy!
Warning: the article contains spoilers about the movies. You have probably seen them all already, anyway.
- Situation: You are 18 and dream of going to France to discover Paris for your first trip abroad.
- Watch: Taken.
- Unless your father is a former spec ops agent, you probably shouldn’t do this trip. Bad things happen to young girls in Paris.
- Situation: You and a bunch of mates are dying to discover Eastern Europe, the cheap beers and the cute girls.
- Watch: Hostel.
- Just watch it and your desire of going to Prague or Bratislava will fade after the first 30 min. Because of the girls and the cheap beers.
- Situation: Your only thought these days is to go on a cruise in the ocean aboard a luxurious ship.
- Watch: Titanic.
- In the end, they all die except the richest. That should make you think twice before boarding any kind of ship. Especially the bigger ones...
- Also: Poseidon, White Squall
- Situation: You just want to travel, go to the airport and take the first flight to any destination.
- Watch: Snakes On The Plane.
- The title says it all and unless you like reptiles you should always consider the worse when boarding a plane. Also, the couple joining the mile-high club dies first. What’s the point of flying then...
- Watch also: Airplane, Final Destination
- Situation: your colleagues offer to take you with them on a canoe trip down a river in some remote wilderness.
- Watch: Deliverance.
- Getting attacked by a bunch of inbred hillbillies is probably not what you hope for your vacation. Pass on that one to save money and your anal virginity.
- Situation: You consider spending all the money you have left after the wedding, to take your new bride on a honeymoon to a luxurious resort.
- Watch: Along Came Polly.
- You don’t want to catch your fiancé having sex with the handsome French scuba driving instructor, do you? Then stay at home for your honeymoon and save for that fridge you really need.
- Situation: You have heard of this amazing thing that is canyoneering and want to try it in some in a park in Utah.
- Watch: 127 Hours.
- Staying at home is always a good idea. Coming back from the expedition with only one hand is not.
- Situation: Eager to go camping in the forest with a couple of friends for the weekend and make a documentary out of it?
- Watch: The Blair Witch Project.
- What about a Playstation weekend instead? You like your friends and don’t really want to lose them.
- Situation: the best idea you’ve found to finance your trips is to bring back some weed from your trip.
- Watch: Midnight Express.
- Yep, that’s never a good idea. Leave it in the country where you found it. Or better yet stay home, you don’t need to finance that.
- Situation: You need a break from the big city and want to go to a beachtown for the summer.
- Watch: Jaws.
- Swimming is fun but you can do it on the cheap at the local lido. In the ocean, giant sharks eat people. Sucks.
- Situation: all your friends are going to exotic locations for the next summer holidays. You have no money and are stuck at home.
- Watch: The Big Lebowski.
- There’s no place like home. Why travel at all?
