Breaking Bread: A Recipe for Friendship in Life Abroad
But what a world of wonderful friendships I discovered when I learned to say, “Actually, I am hungry!” Naturally, it was an Italian who showed me how. We met on my apartment hunt in Dublin. Antonio was looking for a flatmate and I was looking for a home. I had just arrived in Dublin and didn’t know a soul. Before even showing me the apartment he asked, “Are you hungry?”
After a few reflex protests of “I’m fine, thanks,” came my simple admission of “your carbonara smells amazing,” and we instantly became family.
Antonio still loves to tell the story of how I was too shy to eat with him at first, but was soon finishing his affogato. And I can’t believe I ever hesitated at a Roman’s invitation to have homemade carbonara in his home!
We’ve met every so often in Italy, after he went home and I moved on to Paris, and we’re still like family. So when I think about carbonara and affogato, I think about Antonio and Dublin. But when I think about Paris, I think about avocados. And my friend Kim.
Kim is one of the vendors at Marché Baudoyer, the farmers’ market where I did my grocery shopping. Like all the vendors, Kim would ask, Voulez‐vous goûter? “Would you like a taste?” and she would offer all kinds of things to try and would remember what I liked. She quickly discovered my fondness for avocados and would set aside a few for me every week.
She had a trick for knowing exactly when an avocado would be perfect so she’d always tell me which one to eat tonight, which one to save for tomorrow, the day after…
I never learned Kim’s trick, but wherever I am, whenever I open an avocado, I remember her. I remember how she wrote down French words I didn’t know on her brown paper bags and I smile.
And then once upon a time in Istanbul, I met Felix. When I saw him at the concierge desk, I thought he was so cute, I couldn’t say hello. So when we bumped into each other on the rooftop of the guesthouse that evening and he asked, “Would you like some tea?” I was very happy to say yes.
The hours flew by and suddenly it was 3 a.m., we’d drunk too much Raki, and had geeked out over our mutual love for photography, etymology, typography… We’d shared childhood stories, political worries, and travel dreams. I can’t remember the name of the restaurant we went to, nor the names of the delicious dishes we shared, but I’ll always remember Felix and our before-sunrise night.
I had a 6 a.m. flight to catch and we knew we’d never meet again. He’s German and loved living in Columbia. I’m Canadian and Paris feels like home. But in accepting his tea, I met a stranger halfway around the world who felt very much like a soul mate.
People often ask me if travelling alone is lonely. Honestly, it never is.
So, whether on the road or in your hometown, the next time a stranger invites you to break bread, say, “Yes, let’s eat!” And don’t be afraid to invite a stranger to break bread with you, either.
Yvonne
You can follow YVonne on Twitter @mlletravelista and soon on Hejorama for more adventures and food.
Editor's note: this article was originally published in the September '11 issue of Fricote Magazine as the first Hejorama column.